Tuesday's that feel like Monday's

Hello again. So much for me blogging weekly, huh? Life has been a bit crazy busy over the last few months. I have literally had no free time. I actually don't have any now, but I need to vent and I feel like my Facebook friends get tired of my rants blowing up their news feed. So....I'm going to do my best to type this blog while my supposed to be napping baby pokes me in the face. 

Today I got up at 6:45, got my kids around and took "stinky feet" to school. Easy enough. Then I came back home. That's when things started to snowball. "Tiny monster" was hungry so I started breakfast. I had to sanitize her hands about 30 times because she wouldn't quit touching the raw eggs. I finally finish, put the eggs on the plates, and sit down to eat. A few minutes pass and "tiny monster" is now stealing the small amount of food that I had made for myself. Who needs to eat, right? Eating is overrated. Besides, I have enough fat stored up in my left butt cheek to get me through the month without a single bite of food. Breakfast is over. 

Now it's time to do my morning chores. Those go okay I guess. Clean up from breakfast, make beds, pick up living room....Easy enough. Then....my morning coffee hits me....and not in the good way. I scramble to the bathroom, get situated, look up, and what do ya know....there's "fluffy cheek" staring at me. For those of you who don't know, it's a little uncomfortable trying to "drop a deuce", as my husband calls it, while you're being stared at. Add in having to pull her out from under the sink, take the toilet paper out of her mouth, and keeping her from jumping in to the still damp bath tub, and you're like "screw it....I will just be in pain until nap time." 

Lunch time has come now. This excites me. Nap time is after lunch time. Yesssss. I get them fed, lay them down, and then make myself a little bite to eat since I had my breakfast stolen from a curly haired little girl. I am at peace. I decide to take myself a hot bath and maybe read a little. I go to the bath tub and begin to remove various toys. One toy dropped, and made a "thud"....."ohhhh nooo...noo!!!" The sleeping dog is now awake and barking at the person she thinks is at the door...and "fluffy cheek" is wide awake. 

So here I sit. Still needing a bath and still needing to poop. Is this glamorous? Nope. This is an accurate description of motherhood as I know it. 

Happy Tuesday that sure feels like a Monday, folks. 

Helllloooo again...

I'm baaaaaack. It's been roughly a month since I've been able to sit down for more than a minute or two. I have a few free minutes so I figured, why not go write something??

So let's see...since my last blog we have had Christmas, New Year's, several poop filled diapers, and no sleep. Christmas went fairly well this year. Aside from the whole OCD issue that I have when it comes to the kids losing their brand new toys. I went to take a very short nap on Christmas morning and left my husband at the reins. Bad idea. Woke up to about 10 different things already missing. I. Lost. My. Mind. But after all of said pieces were located, all was well. Christmas came and went very quickly this year. I would be lying if I said I was sad about that! Do you have any idea how annoying it gets to pull a child off of the tree every 3.5 minutes? Well...if you don't, take my word for it. It's very freaking annoying. 

For New Year's we stayed at home. What big party folks we are!!! Woooo!!! Hit the diet Dr. Pepper HARD that night. We were all in bed before midnight. I decided that I didn't want to do a resolution this year. I kinda like the way my life is. No sense in fixing it if it isn't broken. I mean....sure. Who doesn't want to lose 20 lbs? Well maybe a few of those models. They probably don't. EAT SOMETHING LADIES!!! EAT!! I'm not saying eat yourself into a size 12. Just enough to where you can shop in the adult section. 

So sleep deprivation is as awful as it sounds. And then some. Can you fathom....making your coffee....and forgetting to put your cup underneath?? Or putting the remote control in the refrigerator? Forgetting to breathe? No really. I've done that. It's a little embarrassing. Gasping for air in the middle of the store....because you forgot to breathe. You collect some interesting looks. It's ok though because I wear "post it" notes attached to my clothes. Short little notes explaining my situation. "I have 3 children...enough said." "My husband snores the shingles off the roof." "Stop looking at me or I will haunt you after I die from exhaustion.".....seems to help. 

Well I guess that's really all that I have to say for now. Nothing too terribly interesting. Gonna try my best to do a few every week from now on. Sooo until next time..."You stay classy, San Diego."

The blog begins....

Hello all. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing, or how to "correctly" format a blog. So....with that being said...sorry...I'm not sorry. My name is Jessica. I am a happy (most of the time...sometimes...eh) mother of 3 children and one husband. My kids are Stinky Feet (6) Tiny Monster (3) and Fluffy Cheeks (1)....names have been changed to protect the innocent. Going SVU style on this one. They are ALL girls. My poor husband lives in a sea of estrogen. We have a female dog also. Not a single sperm in site other than his own. Say a prayer for him, will ya? 

So I talk about my kids a lot. That's because they are the only people that I am usually around. But...I am a realist. I don't sugar coat things or try to make it seem like my life is perfect and I have perfect kids. No such thing, folks. If that is what your striving for then might I suggest to find another goal?? Odds are that if those are the things your striving for then you aren't reading my blog anyways. Those people are most likely trying to create their own "perfect" blog filled with "homemade" recipes and cleaning regimens, what outfits are appropriate for family Christmas's....you get the picture. Let me paint a picture for you. I am in Halloween sweat pants (in December?! NO!) and a comfy t shirt, pulling my 1 year old who is dressed in grey sweats only off of my power plug and yelling at my 6 year old to turn down the music for the 11th time in 10 seconds. Welcome to my life.

I feel the need to produce a realistic blog of what motherhood (or parenting in general) really is. I think that a lot of the blogs that are around that are "mother" or "parent" based are full of BULLLLLogna.....I'm going to keep this one PG. They make people have ridiculous expectations of what it is like to have kids. Kids are a joy. I love my kids. I would die for my kids. BUT let's face the facts....kids are a huge pain in the @$$ a lot of the time. They don't always act perfect. They hardly ever act perfect. They NEVER act perfect. Other "prissy mommy stuff" or PMS as I will refer to it from now on, have a tendency to make normal parents feel like failures. Don't. I would be willing to bet that as those perfect people type their perfect blogs that they are wearing Halloween sweats and screaming at their kids too.

With all of that being said.....stay tuned. I like to find the humor in parenting. In living. I believe that God (I believe in God, and If you don't then you should) has blessed us all with a sense of humor and that we should use it to the fullest. When I am old and grey I would like to have laugh lines instead of worry wrinkles. One of my favorite quotes is "Don't take life too seriously, you're never going to make it out alive anyways." and well...it's true.

So let's pray daily, laugh it up, love our kids, drink a beer every once in a while, and smile like it's going out of style. Let's start LIVING.